City Lights Urban Project - St. Louis

This trip was such a blessing it's hard for me to explain. When I was gushing about it to my sister and my mom, I couldn't stop talking about it. It was overall such an amazing experience and I didn't realize how far I had gone from living a real Christian lifestyle till I went there and was surrounded by college students who were strong Christians. Going to Knox, I don't get many opportunities to meet Christians who are so intune with their faith and with God, and I was so inspired, so encouraged that there were so many people my age all over the place that loved Christ so much.

I didn't want to go to St. Louis and to this missions trip for a whole 6 days in the beginning when my friends and I were driving there. I thought it would be like the other retreats and mission trips I had gone to before where I didn't really grow too close to others and felt inadequate about myself. I forgot a very important difference though: I had decided to go on this trip by myself and had a mindset of dedicating this week to Christ. And boy, did it help.

Everything just makes so much more sense in my life right now. Just being so wrapped up in Jesus makes me feel like a child who doesn't want to leave the womb just yet, but I know I'll have to and be challenged by my peers and school work and keeping God in the center above all. It will be tough to juggle, but I know with God's strength I'll be able to. Another thing that I learned: it is not by my might, but by his spirit. I've heard this so many times, and yet it never really occured to me that I couldn't just leave it at that and, subconsciously, would depend on myself and my actions as well. Giving it all up to God is what I need to do. Seek Him and His kingdom first, and all things will come after.

All the people I met there were also so encouraging and so friendly. Because we had a mutual relationship with Jesus, He crossed some boundaries for us ahead of time and it was easier to make friends because of that. It was so awesome to experience. I just don't want to lose this feeling. I want this to be different and I want to do something for Galesburg and for Knox in Jesus's name. I can't stop listening to Christian music. I feel so...renewed. So rejuvinated. The Lord has plans for me, I know that. I can feel that, and right now I am so ready to go with Him and fulfill his will for me. The obstacles and challenges will come and go, but He will be forever unchanging.

Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord;
keep watch over the door of my lips.
Let my heart not be drawn to what is evil,
to take part in wicked deeds
with men who are evildoers;
let me not eat of their delicacies.

-Psalm 141:3-4