Dedications

I know you are reading this poem
late, before leaving your office
of the one intense yellow lamp-spot and the darkening window
in the lassitude of a building faded to quiet
long after rush-hour. I know you are reading this poem
standing up in a bookstore far from the ocean
on a gray day of early spring, faint flakes driven
across the plain’s enormous spaces around you.
I know you are reading this poem
in a room where too much has happened for you to bear
where the bedclothes lie in stagnant coils on the bed
and the open valise speaks of flight
but you cannot leave yet. I know you are reading this poem
as the underground train loses momentum and before running
up the stairs
toward a new kind of love
your life has never allowed.
I know you are reading this poem by the light
of the television screen where soundless images jerk and slide
while you wait for the newscast from the Intifada.
I know you are reading this poem in a waiting-room
of eyes met and unmeeting, of identity with strangers.
I know you are reading this poem by fluorescent light
in the boredom and fatigue of the young who are counted out,
count themselves out, at too early an age. I know
you are reading this poem through your failing sight, the thick
lens enlarging these letters beyond all meaning yet you read on
because even the alphabet is precious.
I know you are reading this poem as you pace beside the stove
warming milk, a crying child on your shoulder, a book in your
hand
because life is short and you too are thirsty.
I know you are reading this poem which is not your language
guessing at some words while others keep you reading
and I want to know which words they are.
I know you are reading this poem listening for something, torn
between bitterness and hope
turning back once again to the task you cannot refuse.
I know you are reading this poem because there is nothing else
left to read
there where you have landed, stripped as you are.

-Adrienne Rich

Compilation of Quotes

Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines.

-Leroy Satchel Paige

A problem is a chance for you to do your best.

-Duke Ellington

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.

-Henry Van Dyke

Happiness is inward, and not outward; and so, it does not depend on what we have, but what we are.

-Henry Van Dyke

Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

-Henry Van Dyke

Ecclesiastes

Do not be quick with your mouth,
do not be hasty in your heart
to utter anything before God.
God is in heaven
and you are on earth,
so let your words be few.
As a dream comes when there are many cares,
so the speech of a fool when there are many words.

-Ecclesiastes 5:2-3

City Lights Urban Project - St. Louis

This trip was such a blessing it's hard for me to explain. When I was gushing about it to my sister and my mom, I couldn't stop talking about it. It was overall such an amazing experience and I didn't realize how far I had gone from living a real Christian lifestyle till I went there and was surrounded by college students who were strong Christians. Going to Knox, I don't get many opportunities to meet Christians who are so intune with their faith and with God, and I was so inspired, so encouraged that there were so many people my age all over the place that loved Christ so much.

I didn't want to go to St. Louis and to this missions trip for a whole 6 days in the beginning when my friends and I were driving there. I thought it would be like the other retreats and mission trips I had gone to before where I didn't really grow too close to others and felt inadequate about myself. I forgot a very important difference though: I had decided to go on this trip by myself and had a mindset of dedicating this week to Christ. And boy, did it help.

Everything just makes so much more sense in my life right now. Just being so wrapped up in Jesus makes me feel like a child who doesn't want to leave the womb just yet, but I know I'll have to and be challenged by my peers and school work and keeping God in the center above all. It will be tough to juggle, but I know with God's strength I'll be able to. Another thing that I learned: it is not by my might, but by his spirit. I've heard this so many times, and yet it never really occured to me that I couldn't just leave it at that and, subconsciously, would depend on myself and my actions as well. Giving it all up to God is what I need to do. Seek Him and His kingdom first, and all things will come after.

All the people I met there were also so encouraging and so friendly. Because we had a mutual relationship with Jesus, He crossed some boundaries for us ahead of time and it was easier to make friends because of that. It was so awesome to experience. I just don't want to lose this feeling. I want this to be different and I want to do something for Galesburg and for Knox in Jesus's name. I can't stop listening to Christian music. I feel so...renewed. So rejuvinated. The Lord has plans for me, I know that. I can feel that, and right now I am so ready to go with Him and fulfill his will for me. The obstacles and challenges will come and go, but He will be forever unchanging.

Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord;
keep watch over the door of my lips.
Let my heart not be drawn to what is evil,
to take part in wicked deeds
with men who are evildoers;
let me not eat of their delicacies.

-Psalm 141:3-4

What I Wrote in my Essay Notes

"But in the end, it's all flowers and ponies because the children defeat their problems by growing up and being themselves! How, you ask? Well...wait, flowers eat ponies and then flowers take over the world!!! What does this mean?!?!"

Clearly finals are taking over my brain.

Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines.

-Leroy Satchel Paige

It's a good way to remember to thank God for the good things in life.