Listen

Listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start but can't complete.
Listen to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning to find release.

Oh, the time has come for my dreams to be heard.
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own all 'cause you won't
Listen

Listen, I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind
You should have known

Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling.
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own.

You should have listened, there is someone here inside
Someone I thought had died so long ago.
Oh, I'm screaming out and my dreams'll be heard.
They will not be pushed aside on words
Into your own all 'cause you won't
Listen

Listen, I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind
You should have known

Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling.
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own.

I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't, if you won't

Listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start but I will complete

Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling.
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you think you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own, my own.

-Beyonce's words sum up my feelings pretty well.


Pray for the people in Chile.

The Figure Skating ROCKSTAR

Evan Lysacek. My favorite athlete and figure skater! Now usually I don't really follow sports at all, but the Olympics (the WINTER Olympics, especially) is something I MUST watch. But no one is really all that exciting to watch (except for Shaun White and skiing), but figure skating has become my new favorite "sport". Thanks to an amazing twenty-four year old named Evan Lysacek!!!!!!!!

He's the gold medal winner of men's figure skating, if you guys didn't know. GOLD MEDAL. And he beat last winter Olympics' champion Evengi Plushenko, some cocky Russian guy. Who lost to Lysacek, let me tell you!

If you guys haven't seen 6'2" Evan skate (I love his height!), you have got to! His performances in Vancouver were amazing, and he landed his turns amazingly, even with a fractured foot! That doesn't stop him from, you know, winning. He was the world champion previously and he broke a record by being the first American to win gold in men's figure skating! Oh, and he totally kept his cool when Plushenko (Russian.) was bagging on him for not doing a quad turn. Go Lysacek!!!! Sadly, it's over, but go to nbc.com and see him skate. Because if you don't, you're seriously missing out. He's the one in the black with feathers/black with silver stuff, just fyi. :]


Song of the Day: Revolution - The Beatles

Poem of the Day:
Don't Quit - Edgar A. Guest

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
when the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
when the funds are low and the debts are high,
and you want to smile but you have to sigh,
when care is pressing you down a bit - rest if you must,
but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns.
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a fellow turns about when he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow - you may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than it seems to a faint and faltering man;
often the struggler has given up when he might have captured the victor's cup;
and he learned too late when the night came down,
how close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out - the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
and when you never can tell how close you are,
it may be near when it seems afar;
so stick to the fight when you're hardest hit - it's when things seem worst,
you must not quit.

Silence by Venkata Majeti

At first, there was absolute silence.
And at least, there was absolute silence.

In between, it's an
Emotional silence, that'd kill with bare hands
Attentive silence, absorbed in the environment
Thoughtful silence, wallowing and preparing,
Embezzled silence, bored in self indulgence
Quiet silence, uncomfortable and unwanted
Subdued silence, waiting in the wings
Meditative silence, which can move heaven and earth
Dogmatic silence, enough said about it
Comforting silence, no words could describe it

In this communicative silence,
Someone,
Say something
Or, not.

-Venkata Majeti

Parents!!!!!!

1 Parents (n): a father or a mother
2 Parents (n): the chains around your ankles until you've managed to a) runaway b) obtain a stable job and stable income c) die d) turn 18.

Hmm, sometimes it seems like definition number 2 sounds more like our parents, doesn't it? They're the metaphorical CHAINS around our ankles! But really, where would we be without parents? Oh! Most definitely non-existent. And have you ever realized that the people who don't have parents or have only one parent always want parents that other kids who do have parents take for granted? Ha ha, did you get all that?

I feel like I've grown up a little bit (I'd like to say) and I usually do a good job of seeing the world through the eyes of other people, trying to understand how they think. And believe me, if I was a parent, I'd probably be just as bad as my own.

The apple never falls far from the tree says many, and I kind of believe that. People grow up trying hard not to be like their parents, and they succeed for the most part, until they have kids. Then comes the discipline you promised you'd never use, or the stress and pressure you swore you'd never put on your kids, but it's inevitable! And besides, parents are just another part of life. Sometimes they are really, really selfish and try to use your life to live out their own dreams regardless of yours, or they try and push you (maybe too hard or too little) into the "right direction"...wherever that is. But in the end, you'll miss them. (Though I'm really sorry for those people who have really bad parents. And no, I don't mean Asian parents.)

Either way, thank your parents for your birth and for giving you life, then just walk away. You put up with your parents for at least twenty-so years, and then you'll have the rest of your life to live on your own! Well, at least when you get out of the house. I mean, you can always screen their calls when you know they're angry. Just make sure to move far away. ;]

So don't give up on life! Because, before you know it, you'll be living life the way you think it should be lived. Besides, what do we really know about how life should be lived at this age? Just be patient.


Song of the Day: See Emily Play - Pink Floyd

Poem of the Day:
Lost - Dan Brown

Lost in a world, that scares me to death,
Lost in a crowd, I'm losing my breath.
Lost as a boy, lost as a man,
I need to grow up, don't think I can.

Lost as a person, can't find my way.
Lost in life, every day.
Lost in worry, who am I?
All my life, I've lived a lie.

Lost to kindness, lost to love,
Lost in a sky, like a new-born dove.
Lost in thought, which I shouldn't do,
It winds me up, I can’t get through.

Lost to comfort, all kind words,
Lost to advice, it isn't heard.
Lost to those who really care,
All these people, always there.

Lost in me, I need a break,
Lost in wonder, which road to take?
Lost in a place I don't know well,
Where are you now? There's no one to tell.

Lost here, all alone,
Lost apart from the mobile phone.
Lost still, there are no calls.
I'm struggling alone, to break these walls.

Lost in mind, lost in soul,
Lost memories, they're just a hole.
Lost family, lost mate,
Gone now, yet I'm full of hate.

Lost in a straight world, and I am gay,
Lost now, for what to say,
Lost in boredom, think I'll leave.
There's a lot in life I need to achieve.

No Unmarked Person

I think it's pretty inevitable that you'll be marked by something. You can't be someone without being known with a certain "thing". Like, oh, she's the swimmer, or she has the nice car, or she's the smartypants, she's the popular brat, she's the rich kid. Things like that. Everyone does it. And everyone is marked.

It seems that even when you're born you're marked with the name of your parents (and I don't just mean your surname), known as, not yourself, but as "so and so's baby". You might not think about that, but I catch myself doing that too. "Oh, isn't so-and-so's baby so cute!" "So-and-so's kid has the softest hair! What's his name? Oh, well...er...I forgot".

I'm sure there might be exceptions. Some people might think that they shouldn't judge you by what you have or what you look like or what you seem to look like and have, but you know that that's a rare occurence. It's just human nature to judge. I suppose that's just another flaw in our system to add to the list.


Song of the Day: Out The Blue - John Lennon

Poem of the Day:
Dreams - Langston Hughes

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

For All You Harry Potter Fans Out There...

Oh. My. Freaking. Gosh. The set builders from Harry Potter have been working closely with Universal Studios to make a freaking Harry Potter theme park in Orlando, Florida (the place where all the GOOD amusement parks are). It opens this spring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am a HUGE Harry Potter fan, so living in California and not Florida really, really, REALLY sucks right now. So, apparently it is everything you have ever dreamed of. You can walk through Hogwarts, go to Hogsmeade, get your own wand at Ollivanders, have a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks; OH MY FREAKING GOSH. I need to go there. NOW.

So for super Harry Potter fans (like me), it is a MUST SEE attraction/theme park. This spring break I'm hopping onto the first plane going out to Orlando, Florida. It's with Universal Studios (next to Disney World and all that) and is about 20 acres of Harry Potter dreamland. (If only they could make the magic work there too...)

Hogwarts! I'm coming to see you soon!

...Anyone willing to buy me a ticket?


Song of the Day: Hedwig's Theme (duh!) - John Williams

Poem of the Day:
The Sorting Hat Song (the first book) - J.K. Rowling

Oh you may not think me pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat than me.
You can keep your bowlers black,
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
And I can cap them all.
There's nothing hidden in your head
The Sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.

You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, if you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
Or perhaps in Slytherin
You'll make your real friends,
Those cunning folks use any means
To achieve their ends.

So put me on! Don't be afraid!
And don't get in a flap!
You're in safe hands (though I have none)
For I'm a Thinking Cap!

Kids

Ever really think about kids? People don't like them, love them, hate 'em, or adore them. Sometimes a whole combination of emotions. I have a billion or so sisters (three, actually) and they make life so chaotic and crazy. And annoying. But, I must admit, I couldn't live without them.

The reason I'm saying 'kids' obviously means that my sisters are younger than me. I know I'm still young and all, but, as a girl usually does some time in her adolescence, I've thought about having my own kids one day and how I'd treat them. I'm one of those people who adore kids except for my sisters. I love little babies, toddlers (except in their terrible two's), and people seem to take them for granted. Like I do all the time.

Think about a world with no kids. Who'd have the innocence to ask, "Mommy, why is that lady fat?" when that nice, sensitive lady in the grocery store is really just seven months pregnant, or the imagination to say one day, "I'm getting my sense of humor tomorrow. Why? God told me so". You laugh at those things and say, so cute! But if an adult said them, you'd probably call them an insensitive or stupid jerk.

There's always that child-like imagination, child-like faith, where the kids are so innocent and so naiive that they'll believe anything you tell them. There's just some sick people out there who would use that to their advantage and tell their kids that killing is okay, death is just a very long nap, or people that do drugs are cool. Or that there's a toothfairy out there or something.

Of course, this is just another pointless blab about children (I think blogs should be called blabs, honestly; it's just blabbering!) but it's fun to think about. Kids. Children. Youngsters. Terrible, annoying little brats who bring joy to your life no matter how much you call them names behind their backs. Even if they are annoying and irritating and never listen and frustrate you to death (I think my mother's thinning hair isn't only credited to old age), they're cute little things (yes, things) and have personalities like everyone else that are so innocent and, sometimes, adorable.

But please, don't start me on adolescence.


Song of the Day: Cathy's Clown - The Everly Brothers

Quote of the Day:

Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents don't imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
-Erma Bombeck