Time of Our Lives

Today was a funny day. First of all, school was bleh. It was only for about three hours (I LOVE being a senior!), but that was the only real good thing about it. Then when I came home, I jumped onto the computer and was doing whatever, but then my mom came home and handed me a package. From Knox, of course.

So, I open it, and I find gold. Literally. 38 grand worth of gold on a thin piece of paper. So apparently, all that's left for my parents to pay in college tuition money is ... 6 grand. How amazing is that?

Seems like my prayers paid off! I prayed that whatever college I got into (from a choice of...two) that God would bless me with scholarship money and other money to pay for it so my parents wouldn't have to pay. And lo and behold! I got into Knox College and got 38 grand in scholarship money, grants, and loans.

Wow. Does He answer prayers or what?

And adding to that, I got a new car. A brand new car!...that I have to share with my sister, but she doesn't drive yet, so I'm all right. She won't have her license until after I leave, so it's mine! Until I leave. But whatever, man. I'm blessed!

Ever since second semester of school started, I've been living for the day, trying to make the most of every day I have. I live, I eat, I sleep, I dream, and I play. I play a lot. When am I ever going to see any of these people again? And if I do see them, it won't be the same. But I don't think about that stuff. I live for today and tomorrow can wait. Wanna know why?

'Cause I'm having the time of my life! Thank you God!

I'll Stand By You

Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes. Come on and come to me now. Don't be ashamed to cry. Let me see you through 'cause I've seen the dark side too. When the night falls on you, and you don't know what to do, nothing you confess will make me love you less; I'll stand by you.

I'll stand by you. Won't let nobody hurt you, I'll stand by you.

So if you're mad, get mad! Don't hold it all inside, come on and talk to me now.
Hey, what you got to hide? I get angry too; well I'm a lot like you.
When you're standing at the crossroads, don't know which path to choose; let me come along 'cause even if you're wrong I'll stand by you.

I'll stand by you. Won't let nobody hurt you; I'll stand by you.
Take me in, into your darkest hour, and I'll never desert you; I'll stand by you.

I'll stand by you. Won't let nobody hurt you; I'll stand by you.
And when, when the night falls on you baby, you're feeling all alone; you won't be on your own, I'll stand by you.

I'll stand by you. Won't let nobody hurt you;
I'll stand by you.

Just My Thoughts.

Because I know I'll be leaving soon, I'm taking in every aspect of life through sentimental eyes. Every time I drive, I think, I'm going to miss going down this road I know so well. And I pass by the old neighborhood I grew up in, the new one I'm currently living in, and I think of all the bad and good memories. I'm trying to make good memories with all my family members now, and they're all talking about how it's going to seem empty without me. It makes me sad. And I'm so afraid of college. I'm going to go visit, and even visiting Knox scares the heck out of me.

Well, I was looking through past things I wrote down, and I reread this thing I wrote about my...friend. We're not really friends anymore, which is why there's the ellipsis, but I wish we were. It makes me really sad that one of my close friends just stopped being my friend. I don't blame them, but...it just makes me sad. I don't want to go into detail about it, but yeah. I just wanted to write my feelings down. I don't do that often, I notice haha.

I also noticed that being a jerk is my defense mechanism. If I'm harsh and/or blunt, I don't have to deal with my feelings. Of course, I notice that now, too late, and I've pushed a bunch of people away in my life. Whatever. I'm intuitive when it comes to other people, but not when it comes to myself, haha. Interesting.

College is making me depressed! Nothing is ever going to be the same once I leave. I think I'm going to miss my family and my church the most because they've been consistent all my life. I've known some of those people all my life (I've known my family all my life, of course), and church feels like my family too. Thank goodness for things like facebook, haha.

Well, are you thoroughly depressed? I'm actually not, after writing all this down. Anyway, I hope I don't ever lose any of my close friends again. It just...makes me sad.

Happy thoughts!