Venting Because I Can't Articulate My Feelings Out Loud

Maybe the reason I have such an animosity against men and personal relationships with boys is, besides the fact that none of the ones that surround me appeal to me, all of them are jerks. And personal relationships just create such a...such a strain on your lifestyle and your physical and mental health. Take my parents for an example. Both of them are headstrong, but because of my parents' views of conservative social gender roles, my dad has to dominate my mom and not only that but treats her like crap. He can wine and dine her all he wants on their little dates and trips, but when push comes to shove, she's the one that has to take care of the kids and the grandparents and the house and the food while he makes the money and orders her around and picks on her when he's angry. Who does that? A five year old. And the fact that he can't interact with his kids, that he's at a loss of words when we try to have a conversation; it hurts his family and ruins relationships. My mom becomes the mediator and I just...I just never want to be in that kind of relationship, ever. It turns me off on the idea of marriage in general. I'm sure there's happy couples, and I love seeing that. There's so few of those in the world now.

And recently I heard of two semi-personal instances where a husband was cheating on his wife, and that's just wrong. I can't even express how wrong it is. When you come into a relationship, you put so much trust into one person. They're only human, they'll fail you. But to cheat? That's just despicable. I think that's probably the absolute worst possible thing to do. It makes me, and I'm sure other people, so angry that people have the audacity to cheat on their loved ones or their spouses. You can blame it on everything under the sun, but it doesn't make the fact that you did the deed any better. It's wrong, period. That trust between loved ones is so important and so dangerous. Trust is fragile, and just seeing mankind being this way makes me think that I can't put my trust into any romantic relationship because we're all humans, and humans have temptations and make mistakes. And I don't know if I can deal with that.

And here's another thought. Maybe marriage should be illegal for straight people. People take marriage for granted, just like it's the next step in the love instruction manual or something. Maybe if people were just barred from getting married in general they would appreciate it more and appreciate the bond that it gives them. It's not just something on a piece of paper. It's a big commitment. If commitment scares you, then back off because marriage isn't for you. And it's not for everybody. Instead of doing it just to be unhappy in the end, just don't do it. Then you won't add to the 40+% of couples getting divorced in the world.