I have decided today that I'm going to lay off on "having crushes" and "searching for my future boyfriend/husband" like so many girls I know do. Men annoy me because of their stupidity when it comes to relationships and lack of maturity and responsibility, and women are way too complicated. And, well, I'm very much straight. I'm just going to be focusing on my career, my studies, and stay like this: an inexperienced girl in relationships, and I'm fine with that. I've started to create this animosity towards males for some reason. I mean, I love them in general, don't get me wrong, but the guys I've met are just...not great. I can't find it in myself to respect the ones I know, and the ones I don't know are just that; strangers. And I feel so much more comfortable with women than I do men.
Call me crazy, or psychotic, but it's just the way I've been wired. Maybe I had a bad experience with them or something, I don't know. All I know is that they've disappointed me way too many times and hurt me by their insensitivity and disinterest in whatever I say or do. I have found at least two who aren't totally (but are a little) all of the above, but still. I can't remember a time I hadn't had a crush on a guy, till now that is, and I just keep remembering how needy I was, needy for male attention (ugh).
Friends are what I need. Relationships are just too much of a hassle, too much unwanted drama. I'm sure some people would tell me I need to experience it at least once in my life, but we'll see. At this moment, I've realized how much I've missed. I wasted so much time fawning over boys and crushes and the like. Being single is just something that must be embraced, and with it comes a whole door to new opportunities. After all, with all this complaining and animosity, isn't it pretty obvious I'm not ready to commit myself to that kind of relationship? I thought I was in the past, but really, I'm kind of flighty. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment